Posting this #throwback photo to celebrate and contemplate the 1st day of the month, and the past five months of journeying to 2025.
This was taken during my last silent retreat way back on December 30, 2019, days before I officially ventured into life outside full-time missionary work.
I specifically picked this photo because the past month felt like a retreat for me, in a different sense. During the Holy Week God’s constant message was, “Deanne, I make all things new.” At that time, I couldn’t grasp God’s message but after much reflection and by His grace I was led into a realization that He was referring to my interior life.
God wanted to renew me, again. He wanted to make all things new and He asked for my participation. I realized that these past months or years even I was too full of myself, with so many plans in mind or goals to check. I was always in a haste. But God wanted me to slow down. He wanted to fill me again. He wanted me to go back and check the things that truly matter.
But He can only do so if I’ll allow myself to be emptied, to let go of things that make me full and to remember my “why.” Indeed, “we can only be filled if we are empty enough.” The process of emptying one’s self was not easy but it was necessary if I yearned for newness.
Slowly but surely, I checked the things that I thought were for “God’s glory” but later on realized that these were also the things that consumed my time and attention. Instead of fixing my gaze on heaven, these things started changing my intentions and perspectives on worldly matters. These were for God’s glory but eventually became for my own.
These were only a few of the things that God wanted me to check on and reflect upon last month. He wanted to bring me back to the core of my being, that the most important thing is simply to know, love and serve Him. Above all, my relationship with Him is what matters most.
My retreat 5 years ago and my journey last month, was God’s way of reminding me that I am merely a pilgrim of this world. I must seek for things above not here. And I must be present enough where I am so that I may not fall into the temptation of making myself full based on the world’s standards.
As I enter into another month, I pray that I’ll continue to check on my interior life. To take good care of my time with God and nurture my relationship with Him. I know this journey will never be easy, but like the Saints before me, I am not created for easy things. I am confident that He is here journeying with me. I know with Him I can do all things.
Please pray for me!
Journeying beyond,
Deanne
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