Why are we afraid to start over again?
A question I have found myself thinking about since New Year’s Eve.
I am at a time in my life when I have to start over again in some aspects, like work or business, and I have to begin again when it comes to learning how to make things work as a mother and a working woman. We had plans as a family that did not push through last year, so specific dynamics have changed, and we need to adjust our plans and mindset as we welcome this new year.
It is a difficult transition, honestly, but at the same time, it excites me. I feel like I am writing again on a blank sheet or painting on a newly bought canvas. I am excited about what’s in store for me and how the portrait of my life will turn out. But at the same time, the uncertainty of the road makes my stomach churn. I don’t know what’s ahead, nor do I want to see the result of all this starting a new era. However, I am confident that God is journeying with me and our little family no matter what.
So, why am I afraid to start over again?
The closest answer I could think of as of writing is I am afraid I’ve been wasting my time on something. Though it is foolish to say that I’ve wasted my time after all these years because I believe nothing is ever wasted, all lessons brought about by my failures, difficulties, and the like were all vital for my growth. But wasting time in this sense means putting my effort and offering my time for something not meant for me. And human as I am, I am tempted to believe that those times were all wasted, though, from a different perspective, they were not. Not at all.
I guess my fear of starting over again comes from my tendency to think I’ve lost time and also because we are wired to think of other people’s accomplishments or state of life and compare it to our own. That’s why many of us fear change or starting over again; we fear being left behind when we were never in a race in the first place.
So, instead of comparing my life to others, I’ve been practicing the attitude of gratitude by counting my blessings and fixing my gaze on God’s graces. Being grateful allows me to embrace the transitions I am in and the changes I have to entertain. Instead of focusing on the time that I’ve lost and the plans that were not pushed through, I am striving to look at the other side of things.
It’s a brave act, I guess, to choose to begin again, even when you are already a grown-up. J Starting over again doesn’t have a timeline. For me, it’s a matter of perspective and acceptance.
So, here’s to a year of being brave!
A brand-new year of starting anew! A year of changing my playlist, of allowing life to give me the plot twists I’ve been denying myself! A brand-new time to rekindle my passions and get to know myself once again! And ultimately, a year of embracing the newness that my life deserves!
How about you? Are you afraid to begin again?
Life is beautiful! Write your best story!
Journeying beyond,
Deanne
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