What is marriage for you?
Recently, a trending interview caught my attention. As a former Missionary for the young, it pains me when I hear young people talk about marriage, chastity, and relationships in a view so different from what I used to know or were taught by my parents or the Church. It breaks my heart knowing that they’ve reached a certain ideology because of their experiences with their respective families.
This is not the very first time that I heard someone talk about marriage in this way. I’ve heard it from the many young people I was given the chance to talk with in my years on the mission field. It’s sad. This is a sad reality that the generations before us and even our generation should also ponder.
What have we taught them? Bakit tayo umabot sa ganito?
These questions I too asked myself. But pointing my fingers at myself or anyone else doesn’t change this reality. All I have to do now is to strive to build a family centered on God and raise children who believe in the sanctity of marriage. I realized that this small step is already a big move toward change. Because if I want to change the world, I have to start it with my own family.
Thus, this blog post is a response to my hopes for a future filled with young people who will believe that marriage is not simply a piece of paper. Sharing with you 3 reasons that I think are the answers to our whys. May this be of help as you too think about marriage and hopefully, change your perception of what it means.
- Marriage is a UNION of Love.
It is a union but not just an ordinary union because it is a union of love. It is sealed in love. Rooted in love. Founded in love.
When I say “love” I am referring to the genuine kind of love. The love that seeks the best of the other. The love that is willing to sacrifice and give without counting the cost.
This is for me what marriage means. Now that I am married and raising our little family, I am certain that marriage is not simply about feelings or attraction. It is not just about the good days but it is about a union founded in love no matter the season.
2. Marriage is a COMMITMENT.
Married couples are set apart, one reason is their commitment to each other. When we say commitment, it is a constant decision to love and honor the other. This means that even when it is difficult to love our husband/wife, or when they are in their weakest moments or in their most unlovable time, we still choose to love them no matter what. This is what commitment means. It is choosing to stay. Choosing to forgive. Choosing to stand by their side even if it is difficult. Choosing to be true to our vow of holding our partner’s hand in our journey, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
3. Marriage is SACRED.
Marriage is sacred because for us Catholics we recognize marriage as a sacrament. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church,
The sacraments are “efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us.”
(CCC 1131).
In other words, a sacrament is a sacred and visible sign that is instituted by Jesus to give us grace, an undeserved gift from God. This means it is not just a ceremony, not just a mutual understanding between two parties, not just a contract but a sacrament. It is a bond created and instituted by God Himself.
These 3 reasons are for me very important facts that we all should be familiar with when we talk about marriage. For us married couples, we must always go back to the very reason why we chose this vocation, especially in difficult moments in our journey in marriage. We are to show to the world what marriage truly means and hopefully, our love for each other radiates to our children and the future generation.
And for the young people, may your idea of marriage be inspired by those who made it through. We are sorry if at some point your experiences changed your perspective on marriage. We are praying that you’ll still believe that real love exists, and that marriage remains to be true.
As a married person now, I have seen what marriage means even in just a few years that we are married. Up until today, we are still learning and getting to know each other all the more. Our married life isn’t perfect but since we chose to spend this lifetime together, we continue to choose each other, every day, every single time even when it is difficult.
Marriage is indeed not just a piece of paper. It is a union of love. A commitment. And above all, a sacred grace instituted by God Himself.
Ikaw, what is marriage for you? What is your take on this matter?
God bless your journey!
Journeying beyond,
Deanne
“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Mark 10:9
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